God Sucks?

Sometimes life throws things at us that we aren't even close to being ready for. They're seemingly out of the blue, or left field, or nowhere... Or out of wherever life's temptations, trials and tribulations come from.



Mellow Yellow was two years old. He could turn around pretty good, he loved to stop and he was gentle, gentle, gentle. You could already heel steers on him out of the box. And head steers and log them off while pen roping. This all sounds like alot for a two-year-old - It is. He was smart. He learned everything the first time and didn't forget much of anything. He was just easy. He was laid back. He was Mellow. He died August 27, 2009.



This is Iceman. His real name is Pay Days Mr Quincy. He was a five year old stallion that was just getting finished up as a calf roping horse. He was solid. He was a statue in the box, ran to the hole every trip and man he could really stop. He stopped so smooth that sometimes you couldn't even tell if he was stopping yet... and then he got to the end of his stop and you knew it, quick. He was just taking the chance to show off a little bit until it was time to bring everything to a screeching halt. He won third in the Open Calf Roping at the very first show he was ever entered. In his second show, he won it. He died September 4, 2009.

Barely one week apart the only two stallions in training here were gone. And horses here don't get to continue being stallions unless they're just a little bit different than most nice horses. These guys were special. Their temperament, appearance, and ability set them apart. So what the hell is the deal?

Sometime between the fourth and fifth of September, so just a day or two ago, Barbie opened her chest up while turned out. I've walked the pasture three times and can't find the place where it happened. It should be pretty obvious since her injury is extensive. Luckily, the vet got her sown up very well and she should be just fine. But that's not what concerns me. What concerns me is Who's next?.

Fr. Ed delivered a message a while back that reminded us that we need to seek a more personal relationship with Our Lord Jesus Christ. During this message he talked about being angry with Him. Anger towards God is not condemnable, it's completely normal behavior for any healthy relationship he said.

Well, then right now I'm pretty damn normal. I was furious. Anger consumed me. The expertise behind the recommendations for the feed we chose, the resources my family utilized to keep these horses in training, the time I spent with these horses everyday, the majesty that these animals project and respect that they deserve... meant nothing. The injured filly will hopefully be back in action soon, but two - in one week - left us and will never be seen again. What the hell kind of purpose, meaning, lessons, etc. can you garner from that?

I'll admit it. I wanted to title this post "God Sucks!" rather than God Sucks?, but you know what, God is the only pure thing we can find. It's not our job to understand. I'll repeat that, because I'm still working to wrap my head around it. It's not our job to understand.

He was impressive to say the least. He was unlike any other. He was steady, always. His demeanor never ceased to amaze me, regardless of others you put around him. And now he's dead. This is no longer about horses. It's Christ. God lost his only son. Does that mean God sucks? How could it? I can not even start to imagine that kind of pain. Surely if it weren't necessary, it would not have happened. I am beginning to appreciate the fact that God does not create situations so much as He utilizes those situations. His purpose requires certain things that we will never understand, but we aren't expected to.

We were created in God's image. God is a worker. We are created to be active. And God blessed each and every one of us with passions and talents for certain things in order to guide us in choosing what it is that will be blessed by our actions. So we are expected to persevere. To Love. To Work. To Connect. To Continue.

Life is rarely warm and fuzzy. And sometimes it hurts... alot, and is utterly unexplainable. But that simply means that sometimes life's circumstances suck. God does not. Rest peacefully knowing that it's OK to be angry with Him. Then, take a deep breath and instead of asking Why? ask What's Next?.

Perseverance Thursday

Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ~James 1:2-4

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DAMMITT!

I don't want my faith tested! Not at what seems to be the expense of others. Nor will pretend to have a clue regarding why we are subjected to varying decrees of tribulation.

But, I do know this - Our Lord does not subject us to evil, but there's no reason He can't use every circumstance for accomplishing His purpose.

So shit happens. Isn't that the bumper sticker Forest Gump came up with ;)?

But, like Father Ed likes to say, "God is in the mess."

I for one am going to take tomorrow to dig around in it. Everyone has a mess to deal with. Most of us would choose our own, too, if we got to comparing. But slow down and find God in there. He's there. And I'm gonna find Him.

Thursday Word - Mr. Miyagi

Update: I think the Thursday Word Contest got me in trouble with Google. It has been canceled and the page has been pulled down. Sorry Google. Didn't mean to violate anything.
I will still have a Thursday Word just for kicks. It's always interesting to see what's going to come up on Thursday's.
We want this.

NOT THIS

Today I was up and at 'em. Not sure why, but it just felt like a good day for a Thursday trip south. Oh, and our hay truck was supposed to arrive around 7:30 am. I ordered the hay this time and it shipped from Wyoming. It's the same operation that sends hay to Keeneland. I know, whoop di do - just thought it was an interesting side note.

So I loaded up three of the two's and one older gelding and got on the road early.

Upon arriving at the ranch I noticed two things.

1. The hay truck was not there.


2. And J.M. was pimpin the long, untucked shirt tail.

Yep, it was going to be a good day.

Well, since I ordered the hay and the hay had not arrived, I was the lucky guy who got to hear all of the silly a$$ questions about where the hay truck was. That's just how it is. Plenty of ribbing goes on down there. Anyway, I'm quite certain that everyone, including myself, was secretly glad that over 560 bales of timothy/alfalfa was missing in action.

Everyone went about their day. Morgan and I got everything fed and then returned to the ranch to catch and saddle horses. Then right before lunch we penned one of the broodmare bands in order to pick up the black Gay Bar King stud. When that went smoothly and he was back in the stud barn we headed back to the Murphy pasture for some cow work. Dad took the little sorrel mare Fritz Linney rode for a while and I was on the bay paint gelding I've been starting in the heeling.

We penned the cattle out of the west trap on the south side of the Murphy and then started shaping them up. Morgan planned on sorting the older cattle out of the bunch and then sending them through the barn. The little rain they got down there was a blessing, but the pastures aren't ready for what's in store. Pick up the studs and ship the old cows - The dog days of summer are upon us.

We got all of them situated and cut the calves off so we could mother 'em up after lunch. Still no hay truck.

After lunch we headed back to the pens and mothered those calves. Morgan figured one of them had a calve and turned out she did. So we loaded the pair along with the rest of the shippers and were about to head for the Bee County Livestock Commission.

Tonni called. She told me she just got some strange message where a guy said, "Yea I'm sitting out here with a load of hay and . . . nevermind, somebody's here." No other info. Dadgum truck drivers.

Then Dad's phone rang. Yep, our hay was here.

We left the cattle parked in the shade and headed for the hay barn in the roping horse trap. Then I was introduced to a new way of hauling hay. A 53 foot Midway Line eighteen wheeler trailer, or van, was parked at the barn. WHAT!?!?!

That's right, slowly but surely we unloaded those bales from inside that dang hotbox. Over 560 bales of fun.

The only thing that kept us moving was Kelley's comedic honesty about how much he was hurtin' and Mick's coverage of his latest horse. Mr. Miyagi.

Yep, Mr. Miyagi. I have no idea why he's named that and he may have received the name that very second. And he may have a different name tomorrow. But today it was Mr. Miyagi. Dick once had one he called Captain Kirk - Star Ship Enterprise. Yes, he said the whole thing every time he talked about him. I have no idea where they get this stuff. So the Thursday Word is Mr. Miyagi..

Mathew 18:3 I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

Our Lord blesses all of us with a child like demeanor. Don't wipe it out. Embrace it. It will make the good times great and the bad times bearable. There's nothing like hitting that 400th bale and then trying to figure out why anybody in their right mind would name a horse Mr. Miyagi. Just like those bales, sometimes life just keeps landing punches. One after another after another. Keep that child-like spirit with you always. And if you ever need a pick me up, come see the cuates.

Thursday's: Shakey Start - Solid Finish

4:30 - Tweety is GOING TO TOWN right outside the bedroom door that leads to our back yard. He must have been on my frequency though due to the steady breathing of my lovely bride. She lay at peace as my subtle little reminder from Him that my alarm was about to blast us to reality was being whistled just outside.

Still the alarm caught me laying there when 5:00 rolled around and the day was rolling.

The truck and trailer were waiting for me right where I had hooked up last night. So, after everything in the barn and outside stalls were fed, it was time to go get my roping calves. Trailers are not the most fun to back in the dark. Especially without trailer lights. Those of you who know me know that this is no surprise. Anyway, no mishaps this morning thank goodness. One stronger black calf had to stay for a second session of being a roping calve but the other santa gertrudis calves were loaded on the trailer and I was headed for Quincy.

Branding some yearling fillies was to compose most of the day today, but the morning started off with a bit of worry. My Grandfather, John Morgan O'Brien, also known as J.M. by some, Pop by even fewer, and PoPo to me, had been sick. We got an early call while feeding requesting us to come by the main house and see PoPo.

I was worried. Dad, however, knew what this meant. It was time to convince a man who'd seen 83 years of South Texas ranch life and still works the crowd pen that he needed to go to the doctor. And Mary Kathryn was drafting some help.

What ensued I can only describe as Love. This is an Irish Catholic family. So when I say we can get worked up, I mean we can get WORKED UP. ;)

But, today was not one of those days. No convincing. No persuasion. Nothing. They just cared. We are blessed to have a close family friend that is a Doc in Victoria. We visited with J.M. a while and then my uncles, Mick and Dick gave him a call. The normal pleasantries followed and then a couple of quick questions about PoPo. Dad lined up a visit with the physician in the nearest town and that was it. A couple of them loaded up with John Morgan and off they went.

We stayed. Foaling mares still have to be fed by somebody. And the two's can't ride themselves. The branding, though, was off.

The day wasn't empty though. Any rancher knows that being bored, unfortunately, is not ever a problem. You adapt, change plans and accomplish new things. Morgan and I sorted a group of calves at the Murphy and dropped off the old set from my house. The Murphy also had a dozer operator that we needed to check on.

A group of three twos were caught up this morning and so they got worked this afternoon as well. There's a black in particular that I'm very excited about. Nice colt.

Well, PoPo got his report and it was a good one. We spent most of the morning and some of the afternoon visiting with him. After we wrapped the twos and I got loaded up to head north, we stopped back by the house. My time with him today was a great chance for a couple of stories. So here they are:
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We were chatting about pasture work making for nicer horses down the road when an event my grandfather had attended, no doubt as a careless youngster, made itself present at the forefront of his mind.

Me and Richard Walker went to a ropin one time out in the middle of the pasture. Great big arena. And there wasn't a fence on one side. The momma cows were over there. So they pulled the calves that day. Penned them and then turned 'em out headed straight back for momma's milk.

Well we had our calf horses there but they couldn't catch 'em fast enough to do any good. Needless to say, nobody else was catchin' 'em either.

Oh and Chic Alexander was with us too. Man, he could tie one faster than anybody I knew. That was if he could catch one though. Tied good, but didn't catch many.

Well Richard and this fella from whoever's place that was were buddies. And that friend of Richard's had a race horse. So Richard talked him into lettin us borrow him.

"I never have roped on him, " he said.

Hell, we didn't care. We just needed to get close fast. That's it.

And you know we backed that runner into the box blind folded. And when we nodded and took that blindfold off, you had better been screwed down. That booger was floatin.

We just had a ring snaffle on him and herded him by those calves. He never even saw 'em. And wouldn't you know it. We won 1st, 2nd and 3rd on that thang that day.

Me and Chic and Richard. That Richard was a hellofa individual.

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We were sitting there with old westerns playin on a tv that was probably made the same year that movie we were watchin was made when some poor man on the tv headed out into the rain horseback.

We haven't had any good rain in a while so the comic relief and back-handed comments were flowin free when Dad remarked about how miserable that must be.

"I've been there, " Popo remarked but didn't sit up like he usually does before a story. Almost like he was feelin what he was talking about.

We were drivin a set to the Greeter, when I was just a little fella, comin from the Sarco. . .

That's a 20 mile clip for those not familiar with the area. We don't make drives like that anymore. I'm not sure if anyone does.

And we had one boil up over us and go to rainin. It hadn't been going too long and lightning struck not to far from the herd throwing dirt WAY yonder into the air. Haven't seen anything like it untill then. And hadn't since.

You know there was something else I saw on that drive, too. Those sparks dancin on the tips of those cattle's horns. not like the movies glowing and such, but dancing. Same as it does in the clouds, but from steer to steer. Damndest thang I ever saw.

We were out on that prairie country so it wasn't like we were going to go anywhere or get out of it. Probably a good thing with the way that lightin was hittin. A tree bustin or fallin could of killed somebody.

Anyhow, we kept a ridin. Didn't have much choice. Directly one of the hands come ridin up to me and says, "little boss, you need to climb down from that horse and unsaddle him. Cover yourself with that blanket 'cause we about to get some hail."

And damned if we didn't. Not even five minutes after he told me that we got the hell beat out of us. I'll never forget that trip. I don't know how he knew that about that hail.

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Well, hopefully you got this far. If you didn't, I understand. Since you did, I'm going to push my luck. ;)

Please say a quick prayer for all those who have seen the ways of life and freedom change before their eyes. Pray that we can adapt, overcome and persevere just as they did. Ask that they be given the strength and wisdom to continue guiding us through times that hopefully will mold us into the people that they already are.

Stick to your guns

Many, Many colts come through here and everyone of them is different than the last one. In order to get the same results from different horses, you have to get pretty creative. Lots of thought goes into setting up a situation in order to get a young horse to decide it wants to do a certain thing. And it doesn't always workout as planned. You can't jump ship and start over doing something else or mass confusion will set in. You have to stick with it. Keep after the original concept until you get the response you were looking for. That's why it's so important to put some thought into your goal before you get started. Because if you don't believe in what your doing to get the response you need, you're going to start doubting yourself if it doesn't go smoothly.

In Today's Readings Daniel shares the story of three men who are rescued by an angel from the furnace of King Nebuchadnezzar. The only reason they got to see that angel is because they stuck to their guns. It sure would have been easier to hit their knees when the King told them to. However, they stayed true to what they believed.

Then in John's Gospel, Jesus shows us perseverance as well. Though the people continue to deliver a barrage of ridiculous statements, questions, and accusations Jesus calmly guides them back to the Truth. Even though He knows that that truth is going to end with Him being thrown into the 'furnace' as well.

He knew, though, that His God and Father would be there to rescue Him. Know that He is there for you. Be steadfast in your efforts to walk the line. Doing right will almost always get you ridiculed by someone. Sometimes it will be even worse. Stick to your guns. Your angel is waiting.

P.S. The other time an angel appears in a 'rescue' situation is when Peter escaped from prison. Another great story of perseverance. Here it is.